Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
