D3 body, D1 cock
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
