listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
