I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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