To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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