I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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