I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
