I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
