no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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