we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
