I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
