Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
