is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
