I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
