i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
