Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize