my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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