Im at strip club and am horny
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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