Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
