Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize