Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
