you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think i scared a bird with my dick
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
