She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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