I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
