How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
