Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
