i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
