if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize