BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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