my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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