I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
