so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
