sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
