so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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