those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
