it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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