Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
