If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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