Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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