In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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