Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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