We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
