So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
