they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize