I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
