Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize