You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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