There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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