My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
