He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
