I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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