You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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