he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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