He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
