You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
