she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
