Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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