I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
