The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize