Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
