also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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