You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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