Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
