reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize