I met the friendliest cop last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
